Difficult
by Mill Qs
Summary: Riza Hawkeye has desperately tried to forget her painful past, but what happens when Roy reminds her by forgetting? Royai, a little RebeccaXhavoc (soon), EdWin and OOC at times. Set after promised day.
1. Chapter 1

**Difficult**

**Chapter 1:**

**The Question Game**

**First Fanfic ever, so please don't be too cruel ^^**

**I do not own anything**

It was a surprisingly fast day for Roy Mustang's crew with everybody's paper work done at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. First lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was very surprised that even General Roy Mustang, her extremely, annoyingly lazy boss had finished all his paperwork.

"Sir, are you sure you did _all_ your paperwork?" she asked a bit clueless on what to do with spare time if he actually did.

"I did lieutenant and if you don't believe me, check it all yourself." He said secretly a bit hurt.

"Alright sir but what will you do for the next one and a half hours?"

"I don't know. I've never had free time before..." and then turned to his men and asked them what they should do.

Sergeant Kaine Fuery raised his hand hesitantly and said, "I think a game would pass the time well."

"A game? I guess it depends on the game then, anybody have any suggestions?" Roy asked his men.

"How about the question game?" answered Havoc almost automatically with the intention of finally asking the General and Lieutenant if they had feelings for each other. Everybody liked the idea and agreed.

Lieutenant Hawkeye, being the suspicious woman that she was, was on guard.

**A/N: This was a short chapter but I hope you guys enjoyed! New chapters to be up at least once every 2 weeks. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Difficult**

**Chapter 2: The Game**

The group had been discussing for ten minutes who should go first, as Havoc thought to himself '_I really need to ask the Colonel and Lieutenant if they like each other…man I wish they'd hurry it up!' _He thought angrily.

"May I…go first?" The small Master Sergeant asked in his regular timid tone.

"Sure," said Mustang curious to what he would ask.

Fuery sat there for a moment thinking of the best way of asking his question, "Lieutenant Hawkeye, will you go out with me?" he asked turning bright red and closing his eyes a bit forcefully. Everyone in the room was silent and shocked, except for Lieutenant Hawkeye who just sat there for a minute.

The room was silent and she finally spoke up, "Master Sergeant Fuery," she said in a soft voice that shocked everybody, "I thank you very much for asking me on a date, but I don't really think dating is really a priority in my life. In fact I never want to date anyone and besides, you're a bit young for me anyways." With that, she smiled at him and decided to ask Breda the next question.

"Breda," she said in her calm and collected manner as he turned to face her, "are you a virgin?" the shock of the question left all the men stiff as a rock with mouths hung so low they almost touched the ground. "E-e-excuse me? Why d-d-o you want to know that?" he asked getting a bit nervous, "I was just curious" she replied in the same tone as before. "I am n-not a virgin ma'am," he replied.

The game went on for forty minutes without Havoc getting a turn; he was very impatient at this point and shouted out "PICK ME PLEASE!" That had gotten their attention and Roy put on a smirk and said "OK Havoc, if everyone here was female, who would you date?" Havoc almost chocked on his cigarette laughing from the simplicity of the question and replied: "Not Mustang 'cause he's a cold blooded heart breaker, not Hawkeye 'cause she's a bit rough for my tastes, not Breda 'cause he always eats like a pig, so I guess Kaine." "OK, I guess it's my turn," '_Finally'_ he thought and smirked rather suspiciously.

He turned to his superiors' desks (the Colonel and 1st Lieutenant) and bluntly asked "Do you like each other?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Difficult**

**Chapter 3**

A young woman walked casually down the street trying to block painful memories of the past from her mind. She was sinking deeper and deeper into the pit of darkness that engulfed her so many years ago, and as she walked she thought of today; Havoc had asked her and Mustang whether they liked each other which they immediately said no to. It was true that they did not like each other. They _loved _each other.

It wasn't until that question that she had let in the memories of the past that she had so desperately suppressed.

"_Happy 15__th __birthday Roy!" the young girl around the age of thirteen said with a cheery smile. _

"_Thanks Riza, but I don't really want to make it that big of a deal OK?" Roy said. He had been living and learning under Berthold Hawkeye for about 5 years now and becoming a successful alchemist challenging the minds of many of more experience and education in the field._

_Riza frowned and made her way into the kitchen and brought out a very nicely made chocolate cake in front of him and said, "I guess you don't want this cake then," pretending to throw it out the window. _

"_NOOOOO! I'll eat it," he yelled running after the cake._

"_I thought so," she smirked and went to get a knife, two plates and forks. "I was going to get you a present," she started, "but I couldn't think of what to get you. So if you tell me now, I'll go get it for you."_

_He sat there eating cake looking up to the ceiling as if it would give him suggestions and finally said, "how about a date?" he asked looking less hopeful than he actually was._

"_Who do want to date?" Riza asked clueless he was asking her out. _

"_You." _

_Roy had never been on a date before and knew Riza hasn't either and he thought she was special. When he heard nothing but the neighbors' dog barking, he looked up to a very red faced girl staring at him with wide disbelieving eyes._

"_OK," she said in a small embarrassed voice._

_They had gone to a carnival in the town and had the most fun Riza had ever experienced in her life._

After she had collected herself from her flashback, she saw a man in an outfit much like her own standing in front of her apartment. She walked to where the man was standing, giving a salute and her coldest look.

"What are you doing here sir?" the Lieutenant asked her higher ranking official.

"I just wanted to apologize for Havoc's question today. I know that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable."

"Thank you for your concern sir, but I don't see why that should affect me in any way." She said in an innocent voice.

"Come on, you can't keep pretending nothing ever happened between us," he said in a soft irritated tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about sir, and unless you don't want me to be on your team for your goal anymore, I suggest you don't bother me with this sort of nonsense," she said in a calm voice as she closed the door of her apartment building.

After she had gone inside, took a shower, changed clothing and fed Black Hayate, she gave Hayate commands to stay and not be too loud. She was going out the door when she saw a thick envelope of photographs in a clear cabinet that hadn't been opened in years. She took them and put it into her purse and left. She needed to get out and went into a bar for the first time ever instead of just staying home and wallowing in her pain and misery like she usually did.

The bar was rowdy with many hostesses acting cute and sweet to all the male customers. Riza sat on a bar stool and ordered a scotch. She had four drinks and because she had a strong tolerance for alcohol she was not _that _drunk.

"You OK?" the bartender and owner asked with her husky voice.

No was Riza's reply.

"What's the matter? And the name is Madame Christmas but Chris for short."

"My name is Riza Hawkeye," Riza said a bit happy that someone took an interest in her, "and it's nothing really worth bothering anyone with."

"It's a pretty slow day so you're not botherin' me"

Riza looked around and saw that the room was packed with people but decided not to say anything. "I dated a guy for three years who was the best boyfriend ever. He never cheated, never looked at any other girls, he loved me and made me feel loved and he was kind and sweet," she said, looking into her glass of liquor and pausing for a moment, "and he had dreams and goals that I always encouraged but, when I was trying to get closer to him by pushing him towards his dream, I never realized that I was actually pushing him away from _me_." She said now with tears almost visible.

"I knew he was going to leave one day because of his goal, but when he left, he broke my heart. If he told me to wait for him, I'd wait. If he told me to stay behind and just live my life as it was, I would have and he knew that, but he told me that he never loved me and that I shouldn't have been so easily fooled. I _know _he never meant any of it but I can't help but feel like I never did meant anything to anyone. I mean let's face it, my mother died before I could even remember her well and my father from then on just told me to get his food and beat me when I didn't do things right and I never even once felt like I was his daughter, sometimes I would pretend that both my parents died to make it easier, you know? And I can only even talk about any of this because I'm half drunk and I just need to let it out." She told the stranger with a voice that was so close to crying that you just had to pity her. She took out the photographs and started to cry silently as she flipped through each picture.

Each photo had a young couple who looked very much in love. As Riza showed the photos to the woman in front of her, Chris was shocked. She saw the young couple and realized that the male was her son: Roy Mustang, Amestris' most notorious playboy. She was stunned but chose not to share the information with the heartbroken blonde.

**A/N: Yay I'm done the third chapter! Stay tuned to find out what happens and what secrets will tear them apart for good, or help in the path to rebuild their relationship… and thank you for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Difficult**

**Chapter 4**

Roy Mustang needed a night off. From the devastatingly high stacks of paperwork, the annoying clingy women, the friends who kept asking him to get a real girl instead of stealing theirs, but above all, he needed a night off from pretending he didn't care. He _did _want a real girl, but couldn't find one real enough, like _her_. He stepped into the bar and looked around. Seeing that the coast was clear of his pursuers, he made his way to the bar counter when he realized he was sitting to the left of a very attractive woman.

She saluted instantly sobering up while he motioned for her to sit down and finish her drink.

"This is the first time I've ever seen you at a bar lieutenant, well at least when I'm sober," he pointed out trying to start conversation as he ordered a drink for himself.

"I try not to drink on a regular basis, sir."

"That is a shame Lieutenant, drinking can be a fun and exciting pastime."

"Only _you_ would find it a pastime, sir," she said coolly.

He frowned and turned to face her. She looked over as he started talking, "We aren't in the office Riza. You don't need to be so formal."

There was an awkward silence for awhile until Roy turned to Riza with a serious face and asked, "Why did you join the military?"

She sat unblinking and seemingly unsurprised by his random question and answered in two short but powerful words: "To die."

A silence overtook Roy as he watched her drink her scotch unaffected at all by her confession as she continued, "Forty thousand enemy men and one frail-looking girl. Someone's bound to kill her, right?"

He stiffened as he asked his next question unsure if he wanted to hear the answer, "Why do you serve me?" he asked, preparing himself for a sarcastic cold remark but instead got a sterner, yet kinder looking face.

"I serve you because you are the only one to make the dream a reality." Pausing for a moment she drank, engrossed in her thoughts, she continued looking blankly to the shelf of liquors, "Amestris. A democratic nation, changing for the better with fuhrer Roy Mustang leading the way," she said as she laughed halfheartedly into her drink once again.

They did not utter a single word until she decided to leave, bidding her superior a goodnight.

**THE NEXT DAY**

The next morning went by as usual until Havoc (deciding to give up on work) started to wander to the subject of his colleagues. '_Mustang, cold heartbreaker, Falman, the nice kind of a bore, Fuery, kind, but kind of wimpy, Breda, good friend, but uninteresting, Hawkeye…?'_

He was surprised he couldn't pinpoint First Lieutenant Hawkeye's personality. She was cold and mean, but he could tell she didn't like it and that she did it on purpose. He grew hungrier and hungrier for answers. This went on for days until Hawkeye finally got annoyed and asked him what was up.

"Why are you staring at me instead of doing your work?" she asked not looking up

"Nothing, it's nothing Lieutenant," he said stunned that he was caught.

"Tell me now and get on with your work." She demanded.

"I was just wondering what kind of people my co-workers were but you have me stumped…" he mumbled.

"I am the same person you see before you."

"You see, that's the thing. You don't _want _to be mean, but if you aren't the cold and mean woman you want to pass off as, who are you?" Havoc was staring at her as he had been for the past few days and then it hit him.

"You want to change because you don't like your old self. Something changed how you see yourself…a break-up perhaps? Nawwwww. Never mind. That seems a bit…unlikely." He said forgetting that she had the weapons, and the skill to kill him in an instance.

"Why is that so preposterous? I am not allowed to be a _girl_ because I'm in the military?" she asked looking up for the first time since the conversation begun, looking colder than usual.

Havoc suddenly realized he had been actually speaking and covered his mouth mumbling to himself. "It's not that, but it's just that I assumed you had never been in a relationship before," he had regretted saying that immediately when she stood up, walked to his desk and stopped. Giving him the coldest look he had ever been present to see. With their eyes locked in her death glare, he realized that she had a sad look in her eye instead of an angry one, it reminded him that she was indeed a woman, who-along with many other women- had feelings.

"I wasn't always a cold, unfeeling bitch…" she mumbled, almost inaudibly as she made her way into the coffee room.

The men were taken aback by her last statement (which they only barely heard).

**That night**

Havoc, Falman, Breda, Fuery and Mustang all walked into the bar Roy had been to a few nights (with Riza) when they spotted two women with very familiar backs. Seeing Rebecca Catalina and Riza, they stopped for a moment wondering what they should do.

"Let's go someplace else, Hawkeye might get offended if she finds out we didn't invite her…" Falman said looking inside the bar with Breda's head sticking out, staring at the beer and vodka and other brain damaging drinks.

"Let's go over to them and say hi," said Fuery cheerily, already over the Lieutenant, until Havoc spotted a great chance to find out more about Hawkeye.

"Let's eavesdrop on their conversation. You know, to see what military women talk about outside the office," he whispered to the men knowing she had scary intense senses. The men reluctantly agreed, knowing they'd pay for it later.

The men all wobbled two tables down from the girls, close enough to hear but not get caught (anytime soon)

"_What are they saying?" Breda asked Havoc with a worried look on his face as Falman shooed the hostesses away. _

"_Shhhhh. We need to be quiet." _

The men all jumped a bit when they saw Rebecca suddenly cocked her head to Riza, thinking that she knew they were here.

"I want a baby." Rebecca said bluntly. Riza was calm, but slightly amazed at her randomness.

"No you don't." she said with a slight pained expression in her eyes.

"I totally do. They're so cute!" she squealed.

"You wouldn't be able to handle being pregnant."

"And you know how?" Rebecca asked with one eyebrow high above her other one, seeking a curious look.

"Let's just say you don't know everything about me."

**THE END OF THIS CHAPTER. Thank you guys so much for reading this fanfic! I really appreciate all the good comments and the criticism (although I doubt that I did it any better than the first chapters. And I will work on that)! Comment please! My next chapter will be out soon **


	5. Chapter 5

**Difficult**

**Chapter 5**

Nothing seemed to go in his ears anymore; he just sat there, with the same dumbfounded face as the four men next to him. _She was pregnant? _ They thought in unison with each other, although Roy was the most shocked out of all of them. _With who? When? _A million of these questions flooded his mind, it raced with speed he never thought possible as he looked in her direction and wondered: _Was it mine?_

"So how did you drag me here again?" Riza asked with a bitter voice and a quick look around and nearly spotting Havoc's usual nicotine cloud when he panicked and threw it into his boot, extinguishing the embers, putting her attention back to her friend.

Rebecca, with an unlikely gloom knitted into her voice, asked "Does the father know?"

"…not a clue." She muttered, looking down at her hands.

"Wow." Was all Rebecca could say.

They had continued their conversation with news from East City and how Fuhrer Grumman was doing (Grumman was recently voted as Furhrer), or how Ed was doing, drifting to Rebecca's crush on Havoc.

Roy on the other hand was petrified, he was in a state between shocked out of his wits and confusion. Havoc was very pleased and surprised by this new information, finally having a woman who probably won't get stolen by the Colonel and the fact that he felt one step closer to the First Lieutenant.

She awoke the next morning with a strange bad luck feeling accompanied with a splitting headache. While sitting in her room, she suddenly heard a crack coming from her mirror, taking it as a bad omen, she left the room before more can happen. Then, realizing she didn't know how she got in, she called Rebecca and asked.

"You kind of passed out, but you wouldn't move, so I saw the General and asked him to take you home. You looked really weird though… are you OK? You seemed like you would have a bad hangover today."

"I'm OK." Was all Riza said before she hung up.

_I feel like something happened last night…but I'm paranoid so it's probably nothing, _she thought as she started to examine the apartment loft for anything suspicious just in case. She didn't find anything so she decided to get ready for work, feed Black Hayate and make some food for herself.

After she arrived at the office, she noticed everyone in the office had been acting strangely attentive, but she decided to ignore them and set a goal to finish her work before four 'o'clock so she can practice in the shooting range.

The men pressed on, watching her when they thought she wasn't looking, stalking her through the halls when she went to drop off files, they spied on her as if she was going to randomly blurt out every single detail of her affair. She was shooting the hell out of the targets when they fled to the office, knowing not to be caught with her in the shooting range with a loaded gun.

The day ended as usual, no one (except Hawkeye) finished their work, as they prepared to go home to their drafty apartments where there was nothing to do but eat and sleep. Roy mustang decided that he would drive himself home tonight to think about confronting his First Lieutenant about the current hot topic of the office.

He drove with speed and caution, almost never looking away from the road ahead. He thought he would take a shortcut where he would not often go on his route home and when he was momentarily distracted, a car, going at top speed, collided with his driving side window.

Waking up, he found himself in a room of white, sore all over and bandages over his forehead, left arm and side. He found doctors and nurses going back and forth consulting with patients or their families.

"What the hell happened? And where am I? Am I in a hospital?" He asked, finally noticing the people in chairs beside him.

"You were out of it for four days sir," Fuery replied, beaming, relieved because of Roy's awakening.

"Who the hell are you guys? Riza, is that you? You look…older. What happened anyways? Where is Hawkeye Sensei?" he asked Riza incredulously.

"...Roy...how old are you?" She asked in a slightly concerned tone although freaking out inside.

"I'm eighteen, why? Did I time travel into the future?" he asked, flipping his head side to side looking for any more peculiar sights.

"I'm going to go talk to a doctor." Everyone watched as their First Lieutenant ran to get his designated doctor as Roy turned to his forgotten men.

"So who are you guys again?" he asked, with a perplexed look.

"We are your subordinates, you are a General in the milatary. This is Central Headquarters." Havoc replied, pausing to give him time to process the information.

"Huh? I joined the military? Unexpected, but OK, can you fill me in more about me?" Roy asked the other man deciding that he was cool.

"You are he Flame Alchemist, you live in Central, you are Amestris' most notorious playboy (who stole all of my girlfriends)-" Havoc stopped speaking after Roy cut him off.

"Amestris' most notorious playboy? That's impossible, I already have the best fiance ever, whom I will or did marry already." Breda dropped the sandwich he was eating to stare at the man on the hospital bed. They all stared disbelievingly at him.

"Didn't you see her? She was here like two seconds ago, her name is Riza, Riza Hwkeye. Or Mustang, depending on if she changed her last name..."

The men looked even more shocked than before, their superiors were engaged! They couldn't believe it. Their train of thought ened when a doctor came in with a calm Lieutenant shadowing him.

**A/N: Sorry my writing still sucks, I can't find any Beta readers that will write back! :'( (and I'm still kind of confused about how do the Beta Reader stuff :/ ), R&R please. I really need to write from Roy's prespective one of these days -.- And thank you guys a lot for reading my fanfic! Wait for more Royai~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Difficult**

**Chapter 6**

It's not something she should have done, but she couldn't help but feel worried this time. Madame Christmas walked through the doors of a state-owned hospital feeling anxious to see her son. As she walked up to the front desk, she got her story straight, _I heard my favorite client was in the hospital, so I wanted to check up on him,_ she thought, as she asked which room Roy was in.

"Room 12-C ma'am," the male nurse replied with a smile.

"Thanks," her rough voice said.

The trip to his door was short, but the wait in front of it was not. She waited for what she thought to be ten minutes and then slowly opened the door, revealing four men in military stationed uniforms and a woman in the same speaking to a doctor. Everyone had turned their attention to the gruff looking woman in the door frame with a stunned look.

"Chris?" Roy asked, as the doctor left, "What are you doing here?" he asked perplexed by his visitor's faces.

"I heard my favorite client was in the hospital so I decided to see if you were alright," she replied coolly.

"Is this one of those I'm supposed to remember things again?" He asked confused as to why he needed to keep his 'mother' a secret.

Riza stepped in and spoke, "He got into a car accident at 1900 hrs resulting in mental confusion and a concussion. Are you of any relation to the General?"

"I am a friend of his, from the bar."

They eyed each other for a moment; the men around them suddenly got uncomfortable and left. Madame Christmas turned slightly and said, "I just wanted to check if you were ok. I'll be leaving now." And with that, she left a bit relieved that he was, for the most part, alright.

After everyone was gone, Roy turned to see Riza reading his medical chart. "What happened to you? You seem so… different and no one answered my question yet. Are we still together or what?"

"I grew up. And no, we are not together."

"Wait, what? Did you dump me? Did _I _dump you? Was it mutual or what?" Roy paused for a moment thinking of any other possibilities, "Did…I leave you for the military?" he asked, quietly hoping that it was one of the former, knowing if it wasn't, he would never be forgiven.

"You should rest," and with that she was gone. She did not cry when she left for she promised herself she would never cry again. Ever.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long guys! I had some troubles with beta reader stuff :P It's really short but this is all I could do for now. I promise the next chapter will be really dramatic and good! thanks for reading! XD**


	7. Chapter 7

**Difficult **

**Chapter 7**

Riza Hawkeye sat, for the first time in her life, nervously. What she was about to do was bad, so bad that if anyone found out, she may be expelled from the military, convicted of crimes and perhaps even shunned by her beloved grandfather. Her icy cold, stoic demeanor melted away into apprehension at the thought; her only family, shunning her like her father had in her younger days. It was as if her pounding heart brought body heat too hot to keep her cold front. As the doctor came in, her perfectly straight posture went straighter, stiffened and tensed at the spot.

"What would you like from me today, Ms. Hawkeye?" Dr. Hoppes asked with an upbeat grin.

"I need you to change some medical records."

"Do you realize how serious of a crime that is, Ms? You can get convicted just for just suggesting such an idea."

"I am fully aware of the consequences, doctor. But this is something I_ need_ to do. I can pay you enough to buy a car, do something you've always wanted to do, retire even; so please just do it. I have good reasons," she said with a straight face, but eyes pleading. _Although my reasons are selfish and not exactly what __most __ people would call good but a good reason to me should suffice as far as he knows, _she thought smugly and yet also feeling a pang of guilt at the same time.  
The doctor had reluctantly agreed.

The men from each office were all called to the hospital the following day to discuss the progressing health of Roy. Each filed in casually, yet with a professional air. When the doctor went into technical-medical language the group dazed into their own thoughts with only Feury listening to the doctor's lies.

"I don't think anyone understands what you're saying, doc," Breda said, cutting the doctor off at mid point.

"Very well," replied the doctor as he continued, "The General here has suffered cranial trauma more severe than we thought. Judging by the X-rays, it may be possible that he is going crazy. Everything he had said in the past 48 hours should be discarded immediately."

Everyone looked with concerned faces to the peacefully sleeping Roy Mustang. The men just couldn't believe it. Their fearless General was _crazy_? The infamous Flame Alchemist, Hero of Ishval, Amestris' Most Infamous Playboy, _crazy!_ It was just unbelievable.

"There must be some mistake, . He can't be crazy!" Havoc bellowed.

"And why can't he? He may be strong, but he's still human, no matter his strength!" the doctor countered, getting annoyed at the outburst.

Roy started to stir until he woke up. Everyone from the previous day surrounded him; the doctor, the strange but kind men and his now _ex _girlfriend. He was a bit overwhelmed by the depressing aura around him.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"You're crazy."

Roy was unsure of who said that, but at the moment, he didn't care, "Excuse me? I'm what? Crazy? That's impossible!"

The doctor cleared his throat before he spoke up, "You have severe cranial damage due to the impact of the car to your body. You cannot be fully diagnosed as of yet, but I am almost certain of this."

"But I'm not! I'll prove it. Ask me anything and if it seems remotely crazy, I'll admit I'm crazy."

"Where are you from?"

"Sunflower Valley**(1)**," Roy responded confidently.

"There is no town called Sunflower Valley in Amestris," the doctor said.

"Yes there is! Its south of Castles and West Rims. It's a remote town near East city," by now, Roy can even admit he sounded crazy.

"…"

"Fine. Diagnose me, whatever," he pouted.

He was discharged three days later, requested that he rest and have someone watch over him for at least a month. Havoc volunteered, two things racing in his mind; his concern for superior and his curiosity for his past, because honestly, Havoc didn't buy the whole crazy act. He believed that Roy was telling the truth. Hawkeye gave him directions to Roy's place and drove there after he packed some clothes and other necessities.

After a few days of caretaking, Havoc gets so fed up with Roy's depressing-ness that he decides to talk to him (and get some answers as well).

"So um, Roy, why are you so down?"

"Why do you think? Everyone says I'm crazy, I just found out that the love of my life is no longer with me and there's nothing to do in this Godforsaken apartment!"

"What happened between you two?" Havoc inquired.

"All I know is that nothing went the way I planned. I expected to be married by now, have a couple of kids, do something that bettered my country, but look at me, I serve the military, I go around chasing women I don't even like and I live in a pigsty with nothing to do in it!" By now, all Roy wanted to do was wake up and see that this was all a dream, but he couldn't. Nothing had gone the way he'd hoped and he was furious at himself for that. So engrossed in his self loathing thoughts, he didn't even hear Havoc say something about his past girlfriend and how he messed everything up as well.

"Well, you're going back to work in like a month, right? We should prepare," Havoc suggested with a beaming smile.

_Wow_ was his first thought. As Roy Mustang stepped into Central Command for the first time (as far as he knows) and also wondered how the home of destruction could be so beautiful. But before he could really think much of it, he had a strange flash of memories of when he first came here.

_A group of blue dressed men with woman walked into the front foyer of Central Command, they would start working here today. It was a change from the east, but they didn't mind._

"_This place is amazing" Fuery exclaimed._

"_It's not East city, that's for sure," Roy said._

_They all went into the office and decided they'd like it here._

The feeling of rushed memory into your head was strange to him; it felt strange to remember things that he didn't even know he experienced.

As the two men walked in they received a strange look from a man with round eyeglasses. The man was the Officer in charge of discharging other officers. He walked over to them, blocking their path.

"Mustang, why are you here?" the strange man asked with an arched eyebrow.

"I'm here for work."

"Didn't you get your letter? Due to your mental health, you have been discharged from the military," the man said rather coldly.

"…"

No man could speak. They just stood there and for some reason he could not pinpoint, Roy was devastated.

News travelled fast of the General's discharge, but it had reached Hawkeye until everyone else knew. _Oh no _she thought. It was all her fault. She should fix this, but how? If she told the higher ups of her deeds, she wouldn't be able to help Mustang if they ever let him back in. She was torn; she couldn't let him suffer for this. She would confess, tonight if possible.

"Colonel Hawkeye, you've done an awful deed, but your skills are too valuable to this military to simply let you go, and I do not say this because you are the Fuhrer's granddaughter either. You shall be given a warning and six months without pay," the pardoning General Haruko stated. **(A/N: I don't know who is higher than her but not the Fuhrer so forgive me if this is not the most accurate)**

"Thank you, sir, but what about the General?"

"He may come back to work when his memory returns."

**(1): Roy is saying where he studied his alchemy because he lived there for a long time with Riza. And if you didn't know, Sunflower Valley is the town Bob the Builder is from XP lol.**

**Also, the ages are different too (and sorry for not mentioning this sooner):**

**Hawkeye: 25**

**Mustang: 27**

**Havoc: 27**

**Breda: 26**

**Fuery: 23**

**(A/N: I'm sorry this is all I can write. I know what will happen next, but I will just end it here for this time X| Thank you guys also for still reading! And SPOILER ALERT! Roy will find out what Riza meant in chapter 4/5 (I actually intended the surprise for this chapter but I couldn't fit it in) in the next chapter and I apologize still, for having not very good writing :P and ps. I know some people are a bit ooc and the story's getting kind of weird but I hope you enjoyed it so far :D R&R**


	8. Chapter 8

**This is not a chapter but I have to tell you guys that I have to be on hiatus for this story for a while. It wont be that long and I will have it up by april 7-9. I'm sorry about this but you know life. I promise the next chapter will be very dramatic and not as fast paced as I have been going before and betad . oh and it will answer the most important question of all '**_**Riza was pregnant?' **_**stay tuned for the next chapter and again im sorry if you liked it and you'll be sad!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Difficult:**

**Chapter 8**

Gloom filled the heart of one; she walked with her head down, a bag falling at her side, there was rain pouring onto her, there was only one word to describe her: pathetic. The woman didn't seem like the infamous _'Hawk's Eye'_ anymore.

Riza had finally reached her destination; a mansion almost the size of a castle. She hesitated before she rang the door bell next to the oversized gate.

"State name and business," a man said over the speaker.

"Riza Hawkeye. I need to talk to Fuhrer Grumman."

"Do have an appointment?"

"No, but just tell him my name."

A few minutes past before the gates opened slowly and the sight of an ecstatic old man beaming under a black umbrella where seven men and a two women were standing behind him.

"Hello, grandfather," she greeted as he just beamed and looked at the luggage and smiled even more.

" Riza! You're soaking wet! Come inside and dry up, it's freezing."

They went inside briskly, Grumman not wanting his precious granddaughter standing in the freezing rain any longer put the umbrella over her and dashed her to the door into warmth.

Inside was a glorious chandelier bigger than most people would ever see hanging on the ceiling, numerous rooms endless halls, and even a fountain in the middle of the front foyer where maids were hustling to get towels, dry clothing, etc. for the overwhelmed and uncomfortable Riza Hawkeye; after everyone was done, her grandfather called her into the den to discuss her situation.

"Before I become overjoyed by your visit, can you explain why you were out in the pouring rain? Is something the matter? Should I know something? Are you going to stay? Are you getting married anytime soon? Are there going to be great grandchildren? I mean a man can only wait so long," he rambled.

"If you let me, can I stay here for a while? I got suspended from the military for something I'll explain later and no, I will probably never marry either. And as for the grandchildren, I highly doubt it."

"There are so many eligible men in central, and you would be such a great wife."

"I don't think there's anyone out there for me, and I don't want to lo-"

"There's someone out there for everyone like Mustang. He's a very eligible man don't you think?" he asked, cutting Riza off.

"He's eligible for someone else," she shrugged.

"Why don't you want to marry him?"

"…"

"Something you want to tell me?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

"I just don't trust men relationship wise."

"Why not?"

"…I just don't."

"Ah, I understand now. Ex lover troubles?" he inquired sounding more like a statement than a question.

"Not really trouble, we have a good relationship now," she answered honestly.

"Good relationship? That's…interesting…I don't hear many stories of past lovers being friends, and if they are, it's because one doesn't want to let the other go."

"…why do you want great grandchildren?" She asked hesitantly.

"As you know, we're all we have left of our family and although I love you, I still want more than _one _blood relative. Now stop stalling and answer the question, unless it's _too_ uncomfortable to talk about."

"Fine. When I was around thirteen and a half, I started to see a boy who lived next door to me; he was fifteen at the time. I loved him. We dated for two and a half years, but he had found a great goal and I couldn't help but encourage him, but he left me to pursue those dreams. A bit later, I found out I was pregnant with his baby, but I had a miscarriage and lost the baby. I don't like to talk about and only you know." She seemed to be on the brink of tears.

As much as he didn't want to, he needed press on to find out who the father was; after all, the father deserves to know, "Who exactly is the almost father?"

"I don't want to say who it is because I know you'll go find him and tell him! That's scary to me alright? Please don't try to find out, grandfather."

"Don't you think the almost father deserves to know the truth? After all, he almost had a baby for goodness sake! And when did you even have time to meet a boy?"

"I don't want to answer that."

"It's a valid question, I mean I didn't get the chance to watch you grow, go fishing with you, take you places, eat with you, play with you, give you the _'boy talk'_, protect you from the boys in the playground, read you bedtime stories, put you to bed, hug you, go shopping with you, I couldn't do any of those and I want to know as much as I can, which also brings me back to the great grandchildren you don't give me to do the things I couldn't do with you with."

"I understand you're longing for grandchildren, but I can't do that unless I find someone and I don't _want_ to find anyone, and you can ask almost anything else, but just not those questions."

"If by any chance I find that ex of yours, would you marry him?"

"No."

"If I ever find him, would you tell him?"

"No."

"Then just marry Mustang and get it over with."

"No."

"Most women would be dying to marry a handsome man like Mustang, why don't you? He's smart, handsome, wealthy, compassionate-Wait! Is he the almost father? He is, isn't he?"

"And if he is, will you make me marry him? Will you make me confront him? If he finds out, he'll be mad and he'll be crushed, I can't just tell him or it'll ruin him! I'm sorry but, I just can't, please respect that."

"I'm sorry, but either you tell him or you leave. He needs to know, because believe it or not, it will come out one day and it will hit him harder."

"It's already difficult enough, and I'm sorry, but it hasn't come out for almost ten years, I doubt it will come out anytime soon. I'm going to stay in the east for a while. I really hope this doesn't ruin our relationship and I'll be back in six months."

**Dun dun dun (evil music) To be continued…**

**A/N: Did you like it? Did you not? R&R please~ :P and I know this story is a bit OOC…but in this specific chapter, I like to think she is like that with her grandfather.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Difficult **

**Chapter 9**

**(A/N): Hello people! I'm sooooooo sorry I haven't been writing! I was kinda grounded by my parents .…it's ironic because I got grounded for not reading, but the reason I go on all the time is to read fanfics. Well I'm back now and I will try harder **** and ps. I promise to update within 2 to three weeks every chapter!**

(Two months later)

"I'm so close dammit! Why can't I remember?" Roy shouted angrily as he sat down next to Havoc on his large black sofa while the latter lit a cigarette earning glares from his companion.

"What do you remember, and what do you want to remember?" Havoc asked nonchalantly.

"*Sigh* I know that I'm Roy Mustang, twenty seven, a general in the Amestrian military, but I need to remember 1903 and everything after I turned twenty three…I was so close to getting it. Why can't I get it dammit?!" Roy yelled, balling his fists trying to control his anger.

"Relax, chief, it's supposed to take time. Pushing yourself will only make it worse. And besides you've remembered a lot in two months. I mean, five years is a lot."

"But there's something missing and I know it's something important."

"You'll figure it out. But, aren't the Elrics supposed to come over today?" Havoc asked looking at the clock.

"They should be here soon…"

The doorbell rings. "Can you get that, Roy?"

Said man gets up and answers the door revealing two tall blonde boys with sharp golden eyes, "Hello, Alphonse. Hey, short stuff."

"Who are you calling short?! I'm practically as tall as you!" Edward yelled.

"Wow, your temper improved big time, Fullmetal, but I'm still taller than you," the teasing alchemist smirked.

"Brother is trying to get his anger under control before the baby comes. Brother, think about the baby," Alphonse soothed.

"Well, well, looks like the shrimps all grown up. How far along is Winry?" Roy asked teasingly.

"Five weeks."

"So what brings you to Central, boys?" Havoc asked as his cigarette was thrown onto an ashtray.

"We brought something that I thought might help recover some of your memory."

"What is it?"

"I went over to Sunflower Valley on business and went to Hawkeye's old place and found stuff left in a room," Edward said.

"How did you even get inside? Only Riza has the key." Roy asked suspiciously.

"We broke the door down."

"So what did you find?" Havoc asked.

"The only useful thing was a box full of pictures and a suspicious locked trunk with stuff in it."

"Let's see the pictures first."

As the four men looked through the pictures they came across one that was confusing, it was just a picture of a knife. "Hey Mustang, what's happening in this photo? It has a date on the back." Ed asked as he gave the picture to the other man.

"I don't know," Roy said flipping it over reading the back of it aloud, "'_May 29, 1903 #3.'"_

"I found another one like it," Havoc announced, "It's just a bridge, with _June 18 1897 #1."_

"How many more are there?" Alphonse asked looking for more.

"I found three more here," Ed announced.

"Let's see, number one is a bridge, number two is a building, number three is a knife, number four is a banged up car, and number five is an enrollment form for the military…" Edward pointed out as he suddenly understood the pictures' meanings. "That's-she…?"

"What is it, brother?"

"I think these are suicide attempts."

"That's impossible. I've known her for thirteen years and she never seemed…" Roy couldn't continue his sentence because in a terrible way, it made a lot of sense.

They all fell into a long silence.

"Let's take a look in the trunk," Alphonse said finally breaking the silence.

Edward used his automail arm to break the lock and slowly opened it, bracing themselves for the worst.

To their relief they found only a few items; the first was a faded photograph with a woman who looked similar to Riza except with minor differences next to a smiling man, they were obviously her parents. The next item was another photograph, but this time it was of a smiling young Roy Mustang holding an ice cream cone next to a blissful looking girl with long blonde hair and bright hazel eyes leaning her head into the crook of her companion's neck.

It was Hawkeye.

This beautiful young woman in the photo with such a heavenly smile couldn't possibly be the cold and dead Riza Hawkeye they had come so accustomed to could it? She had lost none of her beauty, but it was the hollow, lonely look that had often shielded it.

As they were looking at it Roy snatched it out of their hands and stood with a wistful look of distant remembrance.

"What the hell was that for? And how did you two meet each other back then anyways?" Edward asked obviously irritated at the action before.

"That's right, you two don't know. He studied alchemy under her father and became close friends." The cigarette smoking officer replied for the man beside him.

"That doesn't look like a platonic relationship to me," Edward muttered.

"Maybe if you talk about it, it will make more memories come," Alphonse suggested with innocent intentions.

"You aren't going to give up are you? This stays between us, alright?"

"Alright," the other men replied.

Roy sat on the armrest of the couch everybody seemed to be sitting on as he spoke. "I was her father's student. We never really spoken before, but after awhile I just wanted to be close to her seeing as she didn't have anyone else. She was the smartest, most beautiful and well mannered girl you could ever meet, but her father was cruel and never cared for her like all girls should be treated. But the townspeople were even worse; they would pummel her with rocks and make terrible comments just because she wasn't born into a normal family of butchers or shopkeepers. "

"I had in time gotten her to open up and talk to me as a friend, not even realizing that I had begun to fall in love with her. Eventually, I had confessed and began an intimate relationship with her. In time I asked her to elope with me and leave the town, but something must have happened considering we're not together anymore."

"…"

"I found her diaries," announced Havoc.

"Is there a 1903?" asked Roy frantic to read it. When he got it, he hysterically flipped to May and started reading a few entries.

'_May 4__th__, 1903_

_Roy was talking about the military again. It scares me to think that he might be sent off to war, but I'm even more scared that he might never come home. _

_May 16__th__, 1903 _

_Roy proposed today. I said yes of course, but I'm scared and happy at the same time. I don't know what to do, but I am content. _

_May 20__th__, 1903_

_Roy left today. I can't believe I was naïve enough to think he loved me.'_

'_I dumped her?!' _Roy was dumbfounded as the day he left the love of his life suddenly played inside his mind over and over again.

_Flashback- May 20__th__, 1903_

_Roy Mustang awoke with the strangest mix of dread and anxiety he has ever felt. He got out of bed slowly, hoping it would postpone the actions within his immediate future._

_His thoughts were interrupted by a girl in his door way wearing a simple baby blue apron dress looking happy. "Good, you're up. Breakfast is ready."_

"_I need to talk to you," a young Roy Mustang said slowly and steadily. _

_She came over quickly her eyes were beautiful, smell intoxicating, golden hair spun more beautifully than any ever spun and lips-God, those lips- were as full as the moon. He was stunned that he had paused admiring her for so long and panicked. "I don't love you anymore and I'm leaving you."_

_She looked at him solemnly and looked away to the packed suitcases across the room. "Eat before you leave, Mister Mustang."_

_End flashback_

"Oh, God, what did I do?" Roy said as he buried his face in his hands.

"We can stop if you-"

"No, Havoc he has to do this. What else is in the box?" Edward said cutting the older man off.

"There are notebooks and another diary for 1904."

"I'll read the diary first," Roy said nervously.

'_June 12__th__, 1903-8:00 am_

_I've been feeling sick so I made an appointment with the local clinic. _

_3:30 pm_

_I'm pregnant. I'm sixteen and pregnant and I can't believe I'm excited. I can't tell Roy, but I wish he was here now._

Roy dropped the book. The three men tried to bring him out of his trance, but failed so began to read the entry themselves. One by one, they stood there; mouths were open, eyes the size of plates and unable to speak.

"So that's what she was talking about at the bar…" Havoc realized, being the first to come out of his trance.

**So did I do well? Not so well? Let me know and I really do appreciate comments/feedback! Little ooc here and there and not betad but hope u enjoyed!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Difficult **

**Chapter 10**

**In East City (same timeframe as last chapter)**

"Riza, it's for you!" the raven haired woman yelled obviously annoyed.

"No need to yell, Becky," said the entering blonde as she picked up the telephone, knowing who had upset her friend. "Hello, Grandfather, how are you? Is everything alright?"

"Oh, cut the nonsense, Riza, it's been two months, come home! We can discuss everything later. Do an old man a favor and come to Central or I'll go get you with my army!" Grumman yelled into the phone.

"I'm sorry grandfather, but I don't want to. Goodbye," Riza sighed as she hung up the phone knowing these calls were going to become more persistent. She turned to her friend and apologized sheepishly, "Sorry, Becky. His calls are getting a lot worse, so prepare yourself."

"Will you really go back to Central? You aren't going to quit the military are you?"

"I don't know about the military, but I'll be out of here in a few weeks. I think I might do some travelling," Riza replied.

"Awwww! I like having you as a roommate; you made everything so tidy!"

"What do you want for dinner?" Hawkeye asked Catalina.

"I don't know-"

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Who is it?" the two women asked as they both made their way to the door.

"It's me, Riza. Open up," the country's Fuhrer said looking directly at the peephole where the military women on the opposite side were looking. He was alone, which Riza thought odd, but opened the door.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought you'd be happier to see me," the older man frowned.

"I am happy, but I want to know what you're doing here without your bodyguards."

"I ran from them, they are such pests sometimes and I came to bring you back to Central. Your home, we don't need to discuss anything if you don't want to. I just want to have you with me. I see you even less now that you live here," Riza's eccentric grandfather pleaded.

"You shouldn't go anywhere without your bodyguards, grandfather. What if something were to happen?"

"Oh, please. I am perfectly able to handle myself, but is that really what you're more interested about?"

"I like it here and Hayate likes it too. It would break his heart to leave his friends…" she said quietly.

"He'll have more familiar friends in Central, everyone loves that rascal," he persisted.

"I guess so… but I do not want to hear anything about marriage," she said already cracking-those two months without the military really softened her.

"Splendid! I'll meet you at Central's train station in exactly three weeks."

As the balding white haired man left grinning widely, his bodyguards were waiting outside panting with flushed cheeks as if they had run all the way from Central HQ.

Rebecca reappeared with a sad frown, "Are you really leaving?" she asked.

"Yeah, in three weeks."

"Oh…I'm going to miss you a lot."

"We can always visit each other and besides, I'm not leaving for another three weeks."

The three weeks came fast as the two women were now packing Riza's clothing and Black Hayate's things. Hawkeye gazed through the window to the city below, admiring the autumn season. The squirrels and birds were all scurrying around, scavenging for food to last through winter, leaves falling in various shades of reds, oranges and yellows. There was so much life in this city compared to the busy streets of Central and as much as she hates to admit it, this city's really grown on her.

"Is that all?" Rebecca asked, bringing the other woman into reality.

"Yeah, thanks for letting me stay here, Becky, and you have to visit me in Central alright?" the blonde smiled warmly.

"Ok! I'm going to miss you and Hayate like crazy!" the other woman cried, crouching down to give the barking dog a pat.

"Me too," Riza said heading towards the door with her suitcases and yipping dog.

When the train reached the station, her eyes immediately went to the grinning old man with multiple body guards behind him. "Riza! You're here! Let's go," he said leading her to a black car out in front of the gates.

When they reached the oversized mansion, Grumman started to speak about appointments of his, then hers, "...then I have many…acquaintances wanting to meet you, my dear! When do want to see them?" he asked.

"I thought you weren't going to speak of marriage," she hissed.

"I did not say anything of the sort."

"I suppose I can meet some…"

As Riza was speaking she was stunned to find her overexcited grandfather bringing out a lineup of young men of all shapes and sizes. She was silent for a while before bringing forth an awkward smile and introduced herself, "Hello, I'm Riza Hawkeye."

"Hello, Miss Hawkeye," the men replied all at once.

"Would anyone like some tea?" asked Grumman.

"No, sir!" the men replied again.

"How about we all get into alphabetical order and go into the parlor one at a time then, shall we?" Grumman suggested as he ordered a maid to take Riza's things up to her room.

"Hayate has to stay with me, grandfather," Riza growled.

Hayate was the only male she could trust at the moment.

"Alright then, off you go."

She did as told and talked to the young men one at a time. They were all very boring and monotone until the last man came in. "Hello, Miss Riza. My name is Jared Douglas and I am a huge fan of yours!" he cried.

**A/N: Hiiii! These days I am thoroughly looking for a beta reader. If you think you can help me, pleasssseeeee doooooo! I need a beta! Pm me please! Oh and there will be some interesting stuff next time I promise . **


	12. Chapter 12

**Difficult **

**Chapter 11**

It was once again silent. No one could talk, for there was only one thing the men could not have seen coming: Riza Hawkeye, sixteen and pregnant! What they heard in the bar was right and yet the blow knocked them all out of their senses.

Havoc turned and lit a cigarette, anxiously awaiting Mustang's meltdown, and when it didn't come, he turned to face his friend, "Roy, you alright?"

"No, Jean, I'm not," the Flame Alchemist replied, his hands covering his face sorrowfully. He had so many questions running in his mind, _'Why didn't she tell me? What happened to the child? Where is it?' _It was obvious he would probably never know, since Riza would probably never tell. "What do you think she did with the kid?" he asked, sorrow coating his words.

"Knowing Hawkeye, she would have made sure it went to a nice home," Havoc said reassuringly.

"But, in the diary, she said that she was happy. It wouldn't make sense just put it up for adoption," Edward countered. "She could've gotten an abortion..."

"That makes even less sense! Don't listen to the kid, Roy. Hawkeye may be an ice queen, but she wouldn't have done that!" Havoc yelled.

"…There are still more notes to look through if you'd like, Mister Mustang," Alphonse said, trying to distract the riled up men.

Roy nodded, his feelings were conflicting; anger at himself for leaving and her for having so many secrets, grief for the child who would probably never meet its real parents, and fear for what else may be hidden away in her heart. The feelings were eating at his mind trying to let themselves out in the form of tears, but he immediately choked them down. As he was immersed in his thoughts, a notebook was tossed at him by Edward. "Thanks," he muttered as he sat and flipped through the book. Roy was even more puzzled now; the contents of the notes were full of formulas and transmutation circles and the writing is definately hers, _'This doesn't make any sense,' _he thought deeply, _'she doesn't know alchemy.' _As he flipped through the pages, noticed that all the pages were coded in a similarly to her father's research. If he still remembered all the tricks to the formulas, he could decipher them in a few hours. "Jean, go to the study and get me a pen and notepad," he said.

Havoc did as told as the other man started scribbling furiously. In about two hours, he had done it. He figured it out; she was an alchemist just like her father except, her alchemy was taboo.

She perfected human transmutation.

His hands cradled his face in anger. Roy's body language proposed that he was deep in thought; his eyes were closed and tilted back while one hand lingered on his forehead, facing upward. At this point, no one dared to speak as they all sat there wondering what was in the notebook, when he finally spoke, "I want to be alone," he said.

Edward was angry, but he collected his jacket and left with Alphonse, who followed quickly behind, bidding a goodbye. Havoc didn't leave though; instead he lit another cigarette and sat a bit too casually on the wooden chair, about two meters from his last place. Roy had on at the moment an unfazed look, but it didn't fool Jean; he knew the stages he goes through when Roy was disturbed to a certain level. First, he put on a mask for himself and others; then, he wouldn't be able to control himself and break out into a rage. But the last stage was always the worst, he got depressed to a point where he would try to come out of it, but always fail and push his feelings back and darken himself a bit more.

The blonde's casualty was only a façade, in actuality, he was scared. Mustang didn't get like this very often, almost never, so why now? What was so alarming that he couldn't even speak?

"Why aren't you leaving yet, Jean?" the black haired man asked tiredly.

"You know why, Roy. I live here now," the blonde smirked.

"I need to be alone…" Roy said, going into another period of deep thought.

"Fine, but we have to talk about this alright? I'll be at the gym."

**(A/N: I'm going to be doing flashbacks for the next few chapters 'cause I think it's important to know the history I made up ((it's mostly following the manga, but will have a few different things))**

**1897:**

"GOODBYE!" Roy Mustang waved enthusiastically while his head was jerked back by the sudden movements of the train. He recovered quickly with the thought that he was finally going to be an apprentice! He couldn't wait to learn alchemy from a master. Although he was going to miss his foster mother and sisters, _he-_at twelve years old was chosen to be the student of possibly the most powerful alchemist in the world, Berthold Hawkeye!

When he got to the town, there was a cheerful atmosphere; children were playing happily, adults conversing, even the cats and dogs got along; nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he asked a boy, around his age, for directions. "Hi, I'm looking for the Hawkeye estate. Do you know where it is?"

"It's right on that hill over there, but I wouldn't go if I were you. That little bitch and her crazy father pollute the town," he said pointing to a steep hill with a decrepit looking mansion on top of it, utterly shocking Roy. He had pictured his master to be an ideal type of person, liked by all, living in a nice house.

"Yeah," said a girl smugly, "that girl is so rude! She doesn't even speak to anyone, acting all high and mighty. But I suppose it can't be helped, she was raised totally wrong." She wore a disgruntled expression indicating that she didn't like the Hawkeyes very much, "I heard that her own father didn't even want her!"

"Yeah, and she killed her own mother!"

Then an elderly woman grabbed Roy by the sleeve and pulled him closer to her, "Don't go, sonny. That Berthold isn't a man you want to meet," she said. Now he was really scared. He grudgingly forced himself up the hill, through the gate and in front of the door. He waited for quite a while before he got the nerve to knock on the door, there was a bit of shuffling inside before someone slightly opened the oak door. "Who are you?" she asked. _'This must be the daughter,' _he thought.

"My name is Roy Mustang; I am here to learn alchemy from Master Hawkeye. I suppose you've been informed of my arrival, Miss?"

"No, I have not, but I will notify my father. Excuse me for a moment, sir," she replied, leaving him outside. While he waited, he turned to look at the eerie mansion; there were cobwebs everywhere, leaves scattered all over and untrimmed hedges. The manor seemed to be inhospitable from the outside.

"I'm sorry for the wait, Mr. Mustang. My father will see you now," she said, snapping him out of his daze. When he looked up, he saw a beautiful girl, who looked to be one or two years below him, looking back at him. She had long blonde hair cascading down in a braid to the middle of her back; her eyes were a strangely enchanting reddish brown, he was momentarily breathless before she repeated her statement.

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry I tuned out for a moment. Where is he?" he asked, still staring.

"I will lead you to him and give you a tour of the house. May I take your coat?" she asked, extending her hand out to receive it.

As she gave him a tour of the five floored house, he was thinking back to what the people in town were saying about her. Surely they were mistaken; this polite child wasn't the menacing girl the townspeople spoke of! He decided to become her friend and change the other children's' minds about her.

**(A/N)Ok… I contacted a beta, but unfortunately, this one is not betad so forgive my terrible grammar. I hope the story's not getting too long though… I'll finish soon .**


	13. Chapter 13

**Difficult **

**Chapter 11**

**1901: **

"Merry Christmas, Roy, I got you a present!" Riza beamed. It was Christmas time so she was wearing a red velvet dress with festive embroidering that flowed down to her knees; her hair was in a simple braid down her back and her shoes were red as well. Roy hugged her tightly and grinned widely. Christmas was his favorite holiday.

"Wow, thanks, Riza! I got you something too, but, it's upstairs. Wait here, I'll go get it," he said a bit timidly. They've been dating for about a year now and yet still got nervous around each other sometimes. When Roy ran back downstairs with a small box, he bounced off the stairwell uneasily, inevitably tripping and falling on his face.

"Roy! Are you alright?" she asked, through the laughter erupting from her mouth.

He righted himself and picked up his precious box. "This is for you," he said, handing her the item. It was a silver chain with a heart shaped pendant. "So you know my heart is always with you."

"It's beautiful, Roy. Thank you," she said. She looked at the heart pendant and studied it closely, entranced by the simplicity of two crisscrossing Rs. It felt foreign to her, being loved. She always felt that she was the one on the giving end rather than the receiving, so the cheesy line made her happier than getting any present anyone could give her.

He put his palm on her cheek and kissed her lips softly. "Here, let me help you put it on."When he was satisfied with completing the menial task, asked what his gift was.

"Oh! I almost forgot, here it is! I hope you like it," she said knowing he would.

"OHMYGOSH!" he yelled, tearing open the meticulously wrapped box. "It's exactly what I wanted! How did you even get this?" he said, using a suspicious tone for the last question. He'd always wondered if she was psychic, seeing as she was always so accurate at guessing his thoughts, but this takes the cake! It was a signed copy of a limited edition alchemy textbook written by the country's most successful and (in his opinion) knowledgeable alchemist- not to mention his idol, Lyondell Martin. They were only sold in Central City and extremely hard to get a copy because of the limited supplies they had.

"I was sent to receive a package from Central yesterday while you were still in visiting your family and I saw it at a book signing," she shrugged.

"It must have cost a fortune! Don't use a lot of money on me next time, alright, Ri?"

"It wasn't that much and besides, you're worth it, Roy," she answered. "Oh! I almost forgot to give father his parcel."

She left the room with a small box and came back shortly after with a grim expression. Immediately Roy's eyes searched for red marks or cuts on her body, but thankfully saw nothing. _'Why can't he care more about her?' _he thought. He wished he could do more for her, but he couldn't replace a family…

She never understood why her father hated her, other than the fact that she looked like her mother, but even that wasn't a good enough reason anymore since he never looks at her. But today, he was especially irritable. He had ignored her until she came to place the package on the desk, when he grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm, yelling at her to stop disturbing his research and broke _another_ bottle of vodka. She ran out, with ink on her formerly clean shoes. She sighed, her father's drinking and violent tendencies were aggravating to put it lightly. It always ruined her day.

When she came down, she couldn't help but be angry, no matter how used to everything she is, it always stunned her a bit. _'Maybe I hoped he wouldn't be like this anymore and be nicer…'_ she thought, then, mentally slapped herself and discarded her thoughts. She hated to hope; whenever she hoped, she'd cry of the aftermath and hated crying even more.

After breakfast she left Roy to finish his alchemy homework and went out to her freezing backyard in only her dress. She decided to become strong, physically and mentally. She couldn't be the weak and timid girl she was anymore. In the snow she could still faintly see the multiple targets she had put up. There were about seven she could see and three more buried too deep in the snow. There was only one hole in each of them; all were exactly in the center. Her name reflected her skill exactly.

She stood outside, panting and shooting for hours. The temperature made her cheeks flushed and fingers numb, but she needed purpose. She wanted to be strong for Roy and herself. When she finished, she fixed some cocoa and went up to her room to read in the library. When she saw a sleeping Roy on her favorite chair, she smiled. She sat on the edge of the velvet couch and swept some hair out of his eyes. _'He's so cute when he's asleep,' _she thought.

When Roy woke up, he was pleasantly surprised by the warmth of Riza's embrace. She was asleep with a book in her arms; 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens. He treasured watching her sleep. It seems that her dreams knew her true desires more than she did.

"Mother… father… no!" she yelled. "She…came back…"

The sudden outburst startled the black eyed teen, but made no movement. _'She must be dreaming of her mother again,' _he shrugged. _'I'll ask about it later.'_ He sighed and cautiously shifted out of her grip, careful not to wake her and started browsing the large collection of books. His master had apparently been very meticulous to have organized the hundreds-or maybe thousands- of books that made up his library. Roy remembered when he had at one point attempted to count how many books rested on the dozens of bookcases, but gave up on the five hundredth and fiftieth knowing there was more than double that amount left.

The sound of feet shuffling startled Roy as he glanced side to side to see who was coming. Luckily it wasn't master Hawkeye, but Riza.

"Hey, Ri. Did I wake you?" he asked.

"No, but could you do me a favor?"

"Anything you want," he replied happily.

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep? I can't seem to doze off without nightmares if you aren't there…" she said sheepishly.

**(A/N:) Omg! School is soooooo demanding! Sorry if it took a long time T.T this is the result of many lunch breaks and weekend work… but I am happy to say that I now have the confidence to say that it's going to get interesting! Sorry for putting up with ma fanfic and thank you to all of you! ^.6**


	14. Chapter 14

**Difficult **

**Chapter 12**

**1903:**

"Get the hell out of here, you stupid girl!" Berthold Hawkeye yelled. He was angrily kicking his daughter out of his room. _'Thank God Roy's not here today,' _Riza thought knowingly. She knew what would happen if he had; Roy would try to interfere and be kicked out of their home. Riza's father had been acting more aggressive these days. Usually, he'd just throw something in her general direction to get her out of the room, but now he's been more physical, striking her with powerful force, hitting her with the door, or kicking her. Riza went downstairs to pour some cold water onto the newly forming bruise on her arm. The tap water pouring onto her skin was soothing. Thankfully, the blows were tolerable and the bruises went away quickly. She already had a few on her arms and stomach,which she covered with long sleeves.

Just as she was about to put a cold washcloth on some of her other bruises, the door opened. Roy Mustang was standing at the frame, with a cocky grin, stretching his arms out and gestured Riza to give him a hug. She smiled and strode across the room to hug him tightly. "I missed you," he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Me too," she smiled.

They went inside and the blonde girl made her way to the kitchen to make a sandwich for the disheveled looking boy. "Why do you look like that?" she asked.

He looked at her and just smiled. "I didn't have money for a ride, so I walked from the train station."

She came across the room to the couch and played with his hair, in an attempt to make it look neater. She gave the sandwich to him and watched him wolf it down. There was silence after the sandwich was finished as they sat on the sofa. He had his arm around her and she was cuddled up next to him. He suddenly remembered something and went to his suitcase. When he came back, he brought her a gift.

"What's this?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Open it," he said. She opened the little box and found there was a tiny snow globe inside with a miniature amusement park in it. "You've always wanted to go to one, haven't you? I'm sorry I can't take you."

"It's alright. There's a lot to do at home anyways. Thank you for the gift, but don't waste your taxi money on me next time," the russet eyed girl smiled.

He cuddled next to her like a cat, and all of a sudden got a sly grin on his face. He started nipping at her neck, going upward to her lips and kissed her softly, slowly getting more passionate. His thumbs circled her hips until she broke away.

"Let's not," she said, fake smiling. He'd lose it if he saw her bruises.

His eyebrow quirked up, "Is there something wrong?"

"No, there isn't. I just don't really want to," she lied.

"Oh, come one Ri! I know when you're lying. Are you mad because I left for Central without you? If you are, it's not my fault."

"I am not that petty, Roy." She huffed. "There's nothing wrong."

Roy spotted a purple spot showing on her arm, and grabbed it gently. "What happened?" he asked, already with his suspicions. He got her other arm and pushed her sleeves up, exposing more bruises. The anger in his eyes was evident as he started to unbutton her blouse, revealing more ivory skin tainted with purple and blue marks. His face was a cross between horror, pain and rage. "Did _he _do this?" his voice trembled.

"Bruises don't only come from alcoholic fathers, you know," she said calmly, freaking out on the inside. _'Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!' _she thought, panicking. She tried to pull her arm back, only to have it stuck in the firm grip of the onyx eyed boy in front of her.

"Answer the question, Riza."

"N-no," she cursed herself for sounding so unconvincing.

Roy got up quickly and headed for the stairs. Riza grabbed the back of his shirt. He turned around with fire in his eyes. "How could you let him touch you?" he yelled with an angry tone. "Are you an idiot? Don't you know the first thing to do when someone hurts you like that is to tell me? Why would you hide something like that from me?"

"Don't yell at me like I did something wrong! If I had told you, what would you have done? Would you have gone to beat him up? Would you try to kill him? Yeah, you probably would, and then you'd have to go back to Central and leave me. Who the hell do you think you'd be helping by doing that?" Riza yelled back.

Roy was silent. He knew she was right, but it was so tempting to go up and teach that drunken bastard a lesson for once. All of a sudden, Roy was taken aback at how different his opinion of his master had become; he used to worship the man in the study, now he wished him dead. _'How did I ever look up to him?'_ he wondered. The question lingered in his mind until Riza snapped him back.

"Roy, let's just sit and talk. I feel like we haven't been doing that much lately."

"About what?" he asked, still angry.

She shrugged. "Tell me about your dreams. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"… I don't really know," he admitted.

"Really? That's strange, I'd think you wanted to become a State Alchemist or something."

"Well, I always just studied alchemy to learn it. I never really wanted anything out of it," he shrugged. His anger dissolved in the calmness of the atmosphere.

"We need to find you a dream," she said. "Have you ever thought about being a teacher?"

"A teacher? That sounds like such a tedious job."

She thought for a while and spoke, "What about a police officer? They help a lot of people and it seems like an interesting job."

"I don't think that would be my thing."

"Yeah, you probably wouldn't even be able to catch one," she laughed.

"I could too! I'd be the best cop ever if I wanted to. What's your dream?" he asked.

She thought hard before looking up at him, "I can't tell you," she said.

"What? Why won't you tell me?"

"You would think I was weird or something."

"I promise I won't." He held his pinky out and squeezed hers with it.

"I just want to be a good mother," she blushed.

"I think that's a great dream, Ri!" Roy exclaimed.

"No you don't. You probably think it's silly."

"I wouldn't lie about something like that, would I, Riza?" he asked in a playful tone.

"I guess. So what do you want to do? Be goalless forever? What kind of things would you want to do? Help people? Teach? Make things?"

"I…want to help people. Do you think the military really does help people?" he asked.

"I don't know, I've only ever heard bad things about them, but I'm sure they help people. My father's only cursed them, so I wouldn't really know. Why? Are you thinking of enlisting now?" she asked

"I don't know. Maybe..." He never thought much of the military, but now he knew he what he wanted- he found his goal. He wanted to protect this country so that there could be better and purer generations in the future. To do this, he needed to rise up in the ranks and become important enough to influence the country. _'Perhaps I may one day become the Fuhrer,'_ he chuckled. That would be ridiculous; him the Furher? He laughed, and then really thought about it. _'If I actually did, I could change the country more directly, couldn't I? The Fuhrer is the country's leader, which means he could change the rules however way he wanted… maybe even make Amestris a democracy… yes! That's what I'll do! I'm going to become Fuhrer and make Amestris a democracy and give everyone equal rights.' _He thought deeply until he noticed it was already night. He smiled at the girl at his side. She was staring into space with thoughtful eyes; there was always a soft sadness in those deep auburn eyes of hers. One day he'd get rid of that sadness and make her happy.

**(A/N:) Did you guys like it? I hope you did! Sorry about the slow updates, but you know how school can be :/ leave some comments and review please! You guys are awesome!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Difficult **

**Chapter 13**

**Later in 1903:**

"Hey, Riza, we have to talk," Roy said to a pillow. He sighed; for the past three weeks, Roy has been trying to propose to Riza, but chickened out each time. It was also difficult because her father has been looming over her day in and day out. It made Roy shudder every time he thought of Master Hawkeye staring at her all day; it was just creepy.

"I got to man up," he said, getting confident. The pillow was then picked up again, but not by Roy.

"Man up for what, Mr. Mustang?" a sixteen year old Riza Hawkeye asked.

"Uhhh… nothing, Miss Hawkeye, I was just thinking out loud." He looked around nervously for her father, finding him watching them from the kitchen. "Is there anything I can help with?"

She gave him a light smile and shook her head. "I was just about to tell you that dinner is ready."

Roy got up and walked into the kitchen, shocked to see Master Hawkeye setting the table. He hardly even came to the dinner table, much less helped prepare it. As the two teens made their way into the kitchen and the food was served, Roy's cold teacher suddenly smiled at Riza. She awkwardly tried to return the smile, but failed in reciprocating the expression.

"Master Hawkeye, may I ask how your health is?" said man's apprentice asked.

"My health is fine, boy. Why?" he grunted.

"It's nothing, sir. It's just that I've noticed you've become more… active."

The man observed the boy, eying his movements. He watched how his eyes went to Riza's a lot; he didn't like the idea of the two being together, in fact it infuriated him. He saw how Roy truly was: dark, ambitious and flirtatious. _'He would never be a good match for her,'_ he thought. "I have finished my research, and I am trying to rejoin the world," he said frigidly.

"Wow! Really, master? You've perfected Flame Alchemy?" the boy asked excitedly.

"You seem excited, why? Do you think you are going to have it?"

"It's not that, sir…"

"I think it is, don't try to lie to me. You may have been my apprentice for a few years, but don't think I'm going to let my successor be just anyone, boy."

Roy anxiously ate his dinner under his master's unforgiving gaze. When dinner was finished, Berthold called his daughter to the living room and sat down. "Sit, Riza," he said. She obeyed and listened to his words intently.

"You may think I hate you, but I don't," he started. "After your mother's death and you attempted to do that idiotic experiment…"

"That _wasn't_ an experiment, father, I _have _perfected human transmutation," she growled, earning a hit from her father. Thankfully, it was only to quiet her, so it didn't hurt.

"Never say _anything _like that in the presence of another person," he scolded, "it could get you killed."

She looked down at the neatly folded hands she'd placed on her lap and apologized.

"I didn't say that so you could apologize, I said it as a warning. Now, as I was saying, I never hated you."

"Why tell me this now, father?" Riza asked suspiciously.

"I need you to do something for me," he said solemnly.

'_Of course,'_ she thought bitterly, although she was in fact very scared; the hair on her neck stood up as she braced herself. "What is it?" she asked.

"As I've already told you, I've finished my life's work, but I need to put it somewhere only the one I want can see it."

"And how can I help with that, father?"

"Your back, I will be tattooing a coded pattern onto it."

She was terrified, but not allowing the feeling to surface, she looked into the eyes of the man in front of her and calmly asked, "Why are you asking permission?"

He looked at the wall clock and then back to her. "Because," he paused, "I know you will do it either way, won't you?"He asked, his question sounding more like a statement.

She nodded hesitantly and withdrew from the room.

Later that evening, Riza was in her bed, staring at a book; she was looking at the words, but she couldn't process anything. Too many thoughts were rushing through her mind; _'Why would he do this?'_, _'When will he do it?', 'How will he do it?'_ and just as she was about to sleep, she heard a sound and felt a pair of eyes on her; thinking it was her father, she tensed up and turned to face him. She was relieved to find it was just Roy opening the door quietly. "Hello," he smiled.

"Hello," she replied.

They sat on her bed for a few minutes, talking about the man in his study, "Why do you think he wants to 'rejoin the world all of a sudden?" Roy asked.

"I don't know, but it's strange; father hasn't eaten at the table in over six or seven years so it's strange to see him eat… and talk… and walk around."

Roy's eyes widened, "Seven years?!"

She nodded, "Yes and… I think he's going to die soon," she said, thinking deeply.

"How do you know?"

Riza looked up and said, "I just do."

Roy was skeptical, but didn't voice his doubt; instead, he just pulled the blonde into a long hug.

"What do you think will happen when he dies?"

"I don't know, Riza, but Master is healthy and now he's going to be happy with you… and me if he'll allow it."

She shook her head and looked down, "Father has been sick for years, but no one knows what it is… Roy, I'm kind of scared… I say he's a bad parent- which he is- but I still love him and if he dies you'll have to go away too…"

Roy tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and gave her a gentle smile. "I'll never leave you. I love you too much," he said, getting off the bed onto the floor. He kneeled in front of her, holding her hands and looking up into her deep, brown eyes. "Riza, I love you with all my heart and you mean the world to me, and I've been thinking for so long about what I should say or how I should say it," he paused, "but I realize now it doesn't matter. I know it's kind of cheesy, but all that matters is that I love you and I need you by my side forever. So, Riza Hawkeye, will you marry me?"

Riza's shock overwhelmed her. She just stared at him, not moving for what seemed to be hours.

"Riza… are you alright? Say something… please?" he pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Roy, you just caught me off guard. Of course I will," she said. Her eyes were watery when he took out a small box and opened it. There was a small ring inside it, which he placed on her finger. The ring was just a silver band with a diamond on it, it was simple and she loved it. "Are you sure, though?"

"Of course I am!" he laughed. "I bought the ring a month ago. It's not just something you do on the spur of the moment. Granted the thought did come to me spontaneously, but it took a lot of time deciding whether I should," he said, kissing her lips with a large grin.

**The next day:**

In Berthold Hawkeye's study, there was a very unwelcoming aura. Roy was almost scared to announce himself when he saw the hunched man, scribbling in his notebook. "Get in here, boy," he called.

"Good morning, Master, how are…"

"Shut up," he said, cutting the other man off. "You've proposed to my daughter and you want to be a dog of the military too… you've broken both of my most important rules, now you must leave."

"Master, I'm sorry for…"

"No you're not," he said, cutting him off again.

"Master, I want to do well for your daughter. Why don't you want me to be with her?"

"Your ambition is above all else to you and she deserves better than that, don't you think, boy?" he said, taking a sip of his whiskey. "She may not see what you truly are, but I do."

"Please enlighten me, Master, as to what I truly am," Roy said defiantly.

"Very well, boy," he started. "You're an arrogant, prideful man who seems so positive, when inside, you hate everything. You act like you hope for the best for everyone, but you wouldn't care if they burned in hell if they got in between you and your goals. You're an idiot who has been so easily deceived by the military and you would probably do anything for them, wouldn't you?" Berthold said venomously.

Roy laughed, "You've got me all figured out, haven't you, Master? Yes I am all those things, but it's better to be that than an old, self loathing man who's missed the greatness of life because you've lost a person. I've been there for Riza more in six years than you have in sixteen!" he yelled the last part.

Now Berthold was facing the eighteen year old, "You don't know loss like I do. When you lose someone important to you, it tears your insides out. Anyone who canmove on never loved in the first place. Now, leave this house and become a dog of the military."

"I'm taking Riza with me."

"You're a fool, Mustang. You're going to hurt her more if you continue this stupidity," Berthold spat. "Don't you know there's a war brewing? They're going to make you join and what about Riza? She'll be waiting at home for what? A dead soldier, that's what. And if she's anything like me, she won't recover from that kind of loss."

At this point, Roy was leaving the room with an angry expression. How dare his master say such things? Even if he _was _ right, Roy was furious, but didn't let it show when he approached Riza; she was outside practicing her shooting.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," Riza replied, concentrating on the target. "So why did my father need to speak with you?"

"It was nothing, Ri."

Not pressing the matter any further, Riza changed the subject, "I need to go to the store today, do you want to…"

"Let's have some fun," Roy said suddenly. His charcoal eyes bore into her hazel ones with intensity Riza has never seen before.

"Why does fun sound not so fun?" Riza asked wearily.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "I don't know; I talked to your dad, what do you expect?"

She nodded hesitantly in response as she was pulled into the house. Roy left the next day.

**Back to the present:**

Riza Hawkeye was sitting in a large parlor painted white, it had a plain look, but very elegant; it was a room that Riza liked very much, if it wasn't for the fact it made her feel like a fool. She had absentmindedly agreed to meet her grandfather's _'_friends', who were actually just a lineup of bachelors he had rounded up to find a possible match. The meeting was more like a round of speed dating; she sat on a luxurious sofa and chat with a man inattentively for fifteen minutes before smiling and hopefully never seeing them again. The only one who'd sparked even a tiny bit of her attention was the last man; his name was Jared Douglas, he was about 6 feet tall, with auburn brown hair and blue eyes. He wore a grey blazer and grey slacks; his attire was simple, but suggested wealth. There was something strange about him that Riza found fascinating.

"So, Miss Riza, how old are you?" Douglas asked. "Forgive me if the question makes you uncomfortable."

"No, that's alright. I am 25 years old," Riza said.

The man's jaw shot down to the floor as he exclaimed, "That's impossible! You look much too young to be in your mid twenties!"

Riza eyed him suspiciously, making him visibly uncomfortable. "Thank you," she said. "How do you know me?"

"I served in Ishval the same time you did, Miss Riza," he stated seriously. "My father signed me up for the military and I was soon sent to the front lines, you see. We were in different squads, but I used to be in your squad a few times. You've saved my life three times and I've been waiting for years to meet you again."

"I'm sorry I don't remember you, Mr. Douglas."

"I didn't expect you to, Miss Riza. You were so incredible in Ishval I almost had doubts about resigning from the military. Oh! I almost forgot to ask about the Colonel or General? I can't remember."

"The General is doing fine," the blonde said as the pair went into silence.

"Please send him my regards," he said and Riza nodded. Jared then stared at Riza almost like Hayate does when she gives him a treat; happily distracted by it. He seemed like he wanted to say something a few times, but hesitated. The man finally said, "Would you like to go out with me sometime, Miss Riza?"

**(A/N): Hello people who are still reading! I may stop doing this story soon, but if you want it to continue, then you can just say so and I will. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Difficult **

**Chapter 14**

The silhouette of a drunken man stumbled into the eyes of disapproving strangers as he staggered into his apartment lobby. There weren't many people in the brightly lit room- four at most- but they were all pretending not to notice him. He went over to the stairs and attempted to climb.

"Where the hell have you been, Roy?" a male voice asked, concerned for his friend.

"What is it Havoc?" the other slurred.

Jean folded his arms and stared down at the pathetic excuse for the Flame Alchemist; his hair was disheveled, he was wearing only half his clothes, and reeked of alcohol. This was what it was like since the night they'd opened up Riza's trunk.

"You need to stop this, Roy," he begged. "You don't talk to anyone at work unless you lash out and yell the crap out of them; you don't eat or drink unless it's whiskey! People are worried about you. I'm worried about you."

"It's not like you to plead, Havoc," the raven haired man smirked and tried to get up. This time, he was a bit more balanced and was able to meet the blonde at the top of the staircase.

"I don't have a choice anymore, you selfish bastard!"

"What do you want from me?"

Havoc was now trying to keep up with the suddenly soberer Mustang. "I want you to stop this nonsense and either just call her or forget about it," he said, instantly regretting his last words.

Roy stopped, pivoted to face the other man and glared at him. "You expect me to just forget it all, like it never happened? I have a fucking _kid_ somewhere and I wasn't aware of until I read my ex's diary. And even if I _did _want to talk to her, I don't even know where she motherfucking is, how the hell do you think I could even call her?" he growled.

"Try calling Rebecca then." Roy narrowed his eyes. "…Or not… I can ask her for you if you really want to talk to her," the nicotine addict offered as he started to feed his craving by lighting a cigarette.

"Call her now."

Jean now did as told and got his little black book of addresses to find the number he'd kept solely for emergencies. He dialed the number slowly, wanting to delay the call; the phone rang about two times before a very groggy woman picked up.

"Hullo…?" she asked drowsily.

"Rebecca? It's Havoc. Where's Hawkeye?"

"Straight forward much? Damn, Havoc, it's four in the morning!" she grumbled.

"Where's Hawkeye?"

"What if I don't want to say?"

"Then too bad; now tell me."

"Or what, you'll smoke it out of me? Your addiction to those cancer sticks is so gross."

The man on the other end could feel a vein on his head pop as he gritted his teeth and tried to get her to talk. "Look, harp- I mean Rebecca, I understand you're tired, but you need to help me out. The general… hasn't been himself. He needs to talk to her. Come on, Rebecca."

Rebecca was silent for a while before she started to talk again, "Fine, but if she hears that I was the one who told, I'm coming after you, cancer stick. I'll be in Central tomorrow afternoon, let's talk then. I'll meet you guys at Headquarters."

Jean's eyebrow quirked up curiously. "Why do we have to meet?"

She sighed. "It's not something to say over the phone, who knows if someone's tapped this thing?"

He agreed to meet her and set the telephone down. "We're going to meet Rebecca tomorrow at Headquarters and she's going to tell us there."

Roy sighed. "I have to _meet_ with her?" he gritted through his teeth.

Havoc nodded as they went into their rooms, waiting for tomorrow.

0-0-0-0-0

Jean waited for Catalina outside Central Headquarters alone with a cigarette in his mouth. Roy didn't have the strength to argue with the harpy, especially due to his crippling hangover, so he was absent.

"Hey, cancer stick, where's the general?" Rebecca called.

The blonde looked at the woman coming toward him. The raven haired major was wearing civilian clothes- a very rare sight for him. 'She _is_ pretty,' he admitted, instantly discarding the thought. "He had work. Now tell me what you couldn't say over the phone." He blew a puff of smoke into her face, earning a hit and shriek- both of which he strangely enjoyed receiving.

She walked closer to him, grabbing hold of his uniform's collar and pulling him closer to her. "This is private, so you can't tell anyone. Got it?" Havoc nodded, forcing down a blush. "Good. You can find Riza at the Fuhrer's house," she said pulling back.

Havoc was suddenly disappointed that she pulled away but hid his confusing emotions. "Why there?"

"She's his granddaughter, stupid."

Whoa. He sighed and took another drag of his cigarette, not wanting to show surprise. "Oh," was all he said.

He was brought out of his stupor when he felt himself moving without his control. He shot a puzzled look at the woman tugging his arm, shouting for food. "I gave you information, now buy me some food!" He rolled his eyes, but smiled.

"Fine, but you better not clean me out!"

She led him to a nearby noodle shop and ordered a bowl of seafood ramen for herself and pork ramen for him.

"Now you're not even going to let me order for myself?" he pouted.

"Nope," she replied. "But you'll like it."

He disagreed, but when the food arrived, he did like it. Catalina shot him a smug look and teased him. As they sat and talked- really talked- for the first time, he found out that they had a lot in common and had no idea why he ever thought her harpy- like. Of course she could be very ill tempered and anoying, but he kind of enjoyed her enthusiasm.

As the end of his lunch break came, he asked, "When do you go back to the east?" He didn't really know why, but he wanted her to stay longer.

"What day is it today?"

"It's Friday."

"Then I leave Sunday."

"You want to go out tomorrow then?" He didn't know what he was thinking when he said those words, but braced himself for certain rejection.

Rebecca grinned and gave the most unpredicted answer of all time. "Sure, meet me at Chris' bar at eight."

As she left, all he could think was 'What the hell just happened?' When he entered the office, everyone could tell he was overjoyed, but when asked why, he wouldn't answer.

**(A/N): Hello! Sorry for not updating, but I will more! Thanks for not giving up on this story! (although I don't know why) Well, I just thought it was about time some RebeccaxHavoc action happened. What did you guys think?**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 15

"I'm here to see Fuhrer Grumman's _granddaughter_," he said, barely getting the last word out.

"What business do you have with her?" the guard asked.

Roy clenched his teeth and shot the man in front of him a death glare. He watched the man tense up and growled, "Why is that _your _business?"

"I'm sorry, sir." He walked into the security guard's room and dialed a number from the telephone. After a few minutes, the man opened the gate to let the Flame Alchemist through. He wasted no time and started up the steps to the mansion. Once inside the excessive manor, light surrounded him, making Roy squint for a moment. When he adjusted, he saw Riza standing a few feet away.

"What are you doing here, sir?" she asked stoically.

"Nothing, Hawkeye, just wanted to chat. You know, Fullmetal brought in a strange box from your old home; he said it might help me remember some things from the past." He walked closer to her, suppressing his oncoming anger.

"Is that so?" she raised an eyebrow. She was about to ask how he got in, but figured that he just broke down the door.

He nodded. "It had some pictures and notebooks; you know, just things," he rambled.

"Get to the point, sir. It's not like you to stall."

"You perfected human transmutation and had my kid," he said in a hushed voice. The words were barely a whisper, but Hawkeye- along with having super human sight- had incredible hearing, so she heard him clearly. Her eyes widened with surprise as her mouth hung open.

She recovered quickly and said, "I've never had any children, sir." She walked across the room and motioned him to follow. When they got into another room, the first thing he noticed was a beautiful white piano in the middle of the colorless room. His attention immediately went back to the blonde in front of him. She looked _pissed_. He noted that he should watch his words no matter how angry he got. "What the hell were you thinking, going through my things?" she hissed.

"What the hell were you thinking when you hid this from me? I have a kid somewhere and you didn't think to tell me?"

"I told you before, sir, I've never had any children." She crossed her arms and glared. "I haven't perfected human transmutation either."

"But you said in your journal that you were pregnant and your notebook had equations for transmuting life!"

She sighed as she faced away from him and moved toward the piano bench. She trailed her fingers across the keys, pressing rhythmically on them. "When I was very young, my mother died and my father and I became very depressed. I had learned basic alchemy from my father so I had somewhat of an idea of alchemy. I studied and found human transmutation and tried to bring back my mother. My father stopped me before I could test my theory and forbade me from ever speaking of it again," she explained.

"Then what about the baby? You aborted it, didn't you?" His eyes were flaring as he growled. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't. I went to the doctor to get checked out. I found out I was pregnant and tried to contact you, thinking that you should to know, but you never responded so I assumed that you didn't want to be involved. Two or three months later, I felt sicker than usual, but ignored it. I thought it was just hormones, but when I went back to the doctor, she told me I had miscarried."

"Then how can you be so calm when you talk about it?" he asked, angry at her indifferent gaze. He was now trying to find a reason to be angry at her; to hate her, but she didn't do anything wrong.

"I've cried almost every night for almost a decade, Roy. I'm numb. Do you have any more accusations to throw at me?" she asked dryly.

"How do you know your theory doesn't work if you never even tried it?" he inquired. His anger vanished, leaving curiosity in its place.

Riza was now playing a song on the piano, focusing only on hitting the right notes. The dark haired man caught himself marveling at the beautiful woman, loving the sight of her. "I didn't say I never tried it," she said mysteriously. "I said I haven't got the chance to try it on a _human_. I've succeeded on animals, but humans are a bit different."

"Why didn't you tell me you were an alchemist?"

"I'm not an alchemist; I merely know a few tricks. I'm nothing compared to you or my father."

Roy realized that she had stopped playing and gazed at the lamp across the room. She had a dejected look in her eyes as she went back to playing. He was almost overwhelmed by the guilt that crept into his mind. How could he even suspect her of hiding these secrets? She tried to reach him years ago and even speaking of human transmutation could get her killed- how could she have told him that? With that said, there was still the matter of her knowledge of human transmutation; if this were to get out, she would be in danger. "You know that you can never speak to anyone of this, don't you?"

"I'm not an idiot, sir," she stated wryly.

"I know, Hawkeye. Now let's talk about us."

"What about us, sir?" she asked innocently.

He shot her a look and sighed. "It would be too late to try again, wouldn't it?" he asked, with a tiny speck of hope tugging at his mind.

Riza smiled sadly and nodded. "Yes, sir, it would. You should find someone better."

He frowned. "There's no woman better than you, Riza."

Their conversation was cut short by a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Riza asked.

"It's me, Miss Riza," the man replied enthusiastically.

The blonde slipped outside to talk with the man. Roy caught a glimpse of brown hair before the door closed. The raven haired general felt an odd sense of familiarity as the door closed. Curiosity took hold of him as he crept over to the door and heard them speak in quiet voices.

"Have you decided to accept my offer?" the man asked expectantly.

"What offer?"

"Your hand in marriage of course." His voice went from happy to disappointed at the last statement. "I've already talked things over with your grandfather." On the other side of the door was Roy, seething with rage; clenching his fist and gritting his teeth was the only thing keeping him from burning down the door and doing some illegal things.

"I apologize, Mr. Douglas, but I have no intention of ever getting married."

"Oh… I'm sorry for overwhelming you with this proposal, but I really think that marrying me would be in your best interest…" there was a dark undertone in his voice that made both Mustang and Hawkeye wary of this man.

'_I know that man from somewhere,'_ he thought to himself, trying to remember. Then a realization hit him. _'He's…'_

**(A/N): Until next time! Also, this story will be over in a bit… I finally thought of an awesome ending! Bye bye! Review please!**


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